The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there lived three little pigs: Snout—the oldest—Tummy, the middle pig, and Tail—the youngest, and also the smartest.
The three Pig brothers grew up and went to school, and the mean, notorious bully Wolf mercilessly bossed them around, threatening that if they didn't do what Wolf said, he would huff, puff and blow them to Mars to explore and report back to NASA on what they found. Naturally, every sensible being—from human to termite—complied with Wolf's demands. Now, Wolf was a heavy carnivore, who especially liked pork—cooked over a slow roast, and he made the Pig Brothers' lives extra miserable. After every instance that Wolf bullied them, Tummy would mutter to Snout “Oh, that Wolf is sooo gonna get it!”
The brothers grew up and each moved out into the open, and built houses for themselves. Snout decided to reside in the country, and constructed a nice house made out of straw and hay. Tummy went to the woods, and became a lumberjack. He built a beautifully carved house out of sweet-smelling cedar logs. Tail became a mason, and he decided to make a house that could not be broken—a house of brick. All three brothers were happy. They prospered and became wealthy. Meanwhile, Wolf got involved with a gang. His first mission was to procure the Pig brothers' fortunes for his superiors. Wolf, who hated the Pig brothers since childhood, heartily accepted the mission and set off to fulfill it.
The first brother, Snout, was enjoying a pleasant evening on his backyard by reading a nice book and drinking some iced tea. He was startled to hear a knock at the door, as he was not expecting anyone. He was to lazy to get up, and was absorbed in his book.
“Who is it?” he called from his backyard.
“It is me, Wolf. Do you remember? Please let me in, I come to take your fortune.” answered Wolf.
Snout gasped. Of course he remembered Wolf! Wolf tortured him and his little brothers in school. How could he forget!
“Never! You can huff and puff and blow my house down, but I will never give in!” screamed Snout.
“Then so be it.” said Wolf ominously. He drew breath in, and huffed and puffed, and be the house of straw and hay away. Snout got out of the way just in time, and escaped on his luxurious Cadillac pickup truck. He decided to escape to Tummy's house in the woods. Surely he would be safe there.
Snout should have been smarter. It only took two days for Wolf to come to Tummy's house.
“Come, please open up and I will make it a quick. I just want your fortunes. Please?” Wolf said, trying to sound cute, when in reality he was really just sounding more savage than he was before.
“Never! Never, will you have our fortune, you savage beast!” screamed Tummy, “Nor will you enter this house. You may huff and puff and blow my house down, but we will never surrender. Never!”
“So be it!” said Wolf in his most dangerous voice. He drew in breath, and huffed, and puffed and blew the log house to the ground, and the two brothers escaped on Snout's pickup.
“Drat! I really liked that house. Oh, that Wolf is sooo gonna get it!” muttered Tummy. The two brothers escaped to Tail's house.
The two brothers called Tail so that he could set up his guest room and ready his house for their arrival. But Wolf was sneaky—he planted a homing device under the car so that he could monitor where the car was going, and he made way for the same place—Tail's house.
The next morning, Wolf knocked on Tail's door with the same demand he had before: he was after their fortunes.
“You may huff and puff and try to blow my house down, like you did to my brothers', but I assure you, you will not succeed!” said Tail with perfect faith.
And so it was. Wolf huffed and puffed, but the house did not budge. He tried again, but with the same result. He attempted the blow the house down again. And again. And again. And again. All to no avail.
“Very well then.” rasped Wolf. “If I can not blow your house down, I will climb up the chimney and into the fireplace and eat you, limb by limb!”
“Quickly, help me light the fire. I have a plan.” whispered Tail to his brothers.
The lit the fire in the fireplace, and placed a cauldron of anesthetic to boil, so that when Wolf came down the chimney, he would fall into the anesthesia and would fall asleep.
And that is exactly what happened. Wolf came in and fell into the pot of liquid. He burned himself, but a moment later fell asleep. The Pig brothers tied him up while he was asleep and took him to the police. It turns out that Wolf had a $1,000,000 price on his head because of past crimes.
Tail let Snout and Tummy split the money between themselves, so that they could build new houses for themselves—out of brick, of course.
When all was finished, all three brothers were happy, and the all lived happily ever after.
“See, I told you Wolf was gonna get it!” Tummy said to Snout.

The Average Mind Part I

You learn many a thing at school: math, science, and how others' minds work. I am writing this blog entry as part of a hopeful series of essays on psychology and how my fellow classmates' minds work. I hope you enjoy!
Ok, so I am in Gym class, playing as my usual stinky self, as I was never one of those superstar jocks or some exceptional athlete. What happened was, the gym teacher split us up into four teams and split the period into three games, so each team would play all the other teams. The sport was--yes, you guessed it: basketball!
Two out of the three games, the first two, I scored two points on each game. The end result made us lose by two on the first game, and tie on the second. Didn't help much for one of those people whose motto is "If you don't win by ten, you completely suck!" And, unfortunately, I was unfortunate enough to have one of those as me teammate. So, instead of congratulating me on my unexpected (even for me!) shooting streak and being glad that I was able to contribute more to the game than running around like a sad moron, was flaming mad that we tied, and vented his anger out on me every time I missed a shot or didn't get the rebound when I should have, or let my defense slip up. It was like eh forgot about my positive contributions to the game. Close to the end of the last game, I got fed up with the annoying scoldings and screamed at him that if he didn't like my playing style then he shouldn't pass to me and ignore me.
Ok, you see the facts. Now, what is your opinion? And, as soon I get another idea for an addition to this series, I promise I will post it as soon as possible. And, to those who have vacation--have fun! And to those who do not--I sympathize.

Iowa Caucus: What Went Wrong?!?!

As we all know, the Iowa caucus was held on January 3rd, 2008. And as we all know, things went complete wacko.
Alright. Let's start with the Republican caucus. So here are the standings from the caucus: We have Mike Huckabee, who seemingly climbed out of nowhere and came in FIRST PLACE with a whooping 40,841. After him came Romney, with 29,949 votes--it seems that all his recent hard work paid off. Then came Thompson in third with 15,904, and following him with a close 15,559 votes was John McCain. After him came Ron Paul with 11,817. And now we have my man Giuliani in SIXTH PLACE with a measly 4,097 votes. Yessiree, I have officially given up on him and dubbed him "French Toast." After him came Hunter, whose first name I do not know with 524 votes, and after him came Tancredo, whose name I also do not know, with............5 votes. Using the calculator on my trusty cell phone, I have concluded that there were 118,696 participaters in the Republican Iowa Caucus.
As for the Democratic caucus, I do not have exact numbers, rather, I have percentages. Surprisingly, we find Barack Obama in first place with 38% of the participants. All his work with the youths paid off. It was a smart move, alright, even though Hillary thinks it is cheating. Next we have John Edwards with 30% of the votes, and after him we have Hillary Clinton, with also 30% of the votes. I have to say, I am disappointed--I expected more. From all the vigor she had in the beginning, I was expecting at least frst place. But, alas, the world is full of surprises. After her is Richardson, and here the numbers take a steep dive--only 2%. After him we have Biden with .9%, and Dodd with .02%. Sacrificial lambs, if you ask me.
Ah, yes, this world is full of surprises, and please comment with your opinions.